can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
