I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Drake has all the answers
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
