oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
