Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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