his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
