yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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