Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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