she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
