the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
