i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
