He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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