My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
