i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
