she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
