okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
