Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
