did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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