My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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