im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
