I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just want to make out with him forever
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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