The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
