Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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