why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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