He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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