This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
