is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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