I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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