PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
