Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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