Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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