...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
