wrigley field is MILF paradise
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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