where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
