You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
