i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he puts the penis in happiness.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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