So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
