you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it's like heaven, but drunker
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
