Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
