I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
His nipple licking is glorious
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