My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
did you just send me my own nude
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
