Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
