You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
