you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
