$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
