'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
