sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
