so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
