The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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