you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My penis needs a shock collar
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
