The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My vagina is officially offended.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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